Feeding the shrinking dragon

A couple weeks ago we returned to Costa Rica after a 9 day trip to Colorado.  All of us were excited to go for lots of different reasons.  American junk food, friends, family, skiing, Starbucks, and Target to name a few.  We had a really nice time seeing people although it was so busy I felt like we saw everyone and no one at the same time.  A friend who recently moved to England warned me before we left that it would be hard - that I would feel pulled in lots of different directions - and she was right.

I keep telling Kevin that various trips we take -whether to the lame stores in Liberia, the slightly better ones in San José and of course the mother-lode of stores in Colorado are all part of my program to "feed the shrinking dragon" of consumerism that used to grow happily within me.  This trip was really interesting on that front.

Before we left, I was super excited to buy some new clothes, eat lots of junk food and overall be a full fledged consumer, and I was very surprised at my reaction to the whole process.  When we landed in Miami, we took a cab to a nearby mall to do some summer shopping.  Our first stop was at a restaurant to drink some good beer, eat some good wings and fries.  After eating, all of us felt a little sick but off to the mall we went!  We shopped for a bit and then I just started to feel overwhelmed.  So many stores, so many choices, and really nothing that I needed.

When we arrived in Denver, we started the marathon of seeing friends and family.  Like I said above, it was great to see everyone, but simultaneously exhausting.  It was so fun to catch up with everyone and see what everyone has been up to, and we treasured the time.  Again, though, it felt like we didn't really have enough time with anyone.

I did a little bit of shopping - bought a couple new things and "shopped" in the attic of our house too.  The stores got old fast - I wish Tamarindo had a bit of a balance between having nothing that I need and having way more than I need (like CO).

The hardest part of the trip was being in the 'hood - as we all call Willow Creek.  It was overwhelming to think of the community of friends we have and the great school, etc.  I cried just about every time I drove through the neighborhood.  It was awful to drive by our old house - I did it 3 or 4 times just to torture myself.  People asked me if I went inside - NO way.  I have no desire to see what the house looks like with someone else's stuff in it.  Still way to close.

But anyway, by the end of the 5th or 6th day, I was all "shopped" out - the thought of going to another store made me a little sick.  So I think the dragon is almost all the way "shrunk".  Don't get me wrong - I still made the whole family come with me to Liberia this past Saturday - just so I could go to a store with something more than just groceries...

Coming back to Costa Rica was great.  All of us were really excited to come back.  I worried that the kids would be sad to leave their friends again, but they weren't.  Praise the Lord.  And I really worried about myself - that I would be too sad to leave again as well.  But I wasn't.  I was sad, but really I was ready.  Ready to come back to my new home.

We've made the decision to move forward with this business and to make Costa Rica our permanent home for the foreseeable future.  It's kind of crazy, but it actually really helps with figuring out where to invest our time, energy, resources, etc.  All of us are creating little pockets of community and I am accepting that this place can be my home.

Through the whole process, I continue to feel the Lord holding me gently.  Gently reminding me of how much he loves me.  Reminding me that He is here, there and everywhere - no matter where I live.  I know there is still much to grieve about leaving Colorado, but I feel like we've all turned a bit of a corner towards this new life.

And for that I am very thankful.